


Swimming

by pushingthesenses



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Mental Health Issues, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29297346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pushingthesenses/pseuds/pushingthesenses
Summary: Kylo understands you, just as you understand him.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	Swimming

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway so this started out as a piece of therapeutic writing that I never intended on posting, but then I figured, it helped me to write it. It might help someone else to read it. Short and sweet.

It’s a heavy kind of feeling. 

A dead-weight that sits in the pit of your stomach, skewing your centre of gravity. It’s a thunderous, tumultuous rolling cloud, black and grey and roaring, and it sits above your brow, seeping through your skin. It’s caustic, eroding whatever dull, jagged debris is left of your soul. You’ll find yourself lost, trapped in moments, in memories that recycle like a skipping, scratched record you wish you could snap. Swimming in the midst of some deep, dark hell-scape, with no way to reach the light you see flickering above the surface of the waves. 

Getting up, even speaking when you stumble upon this abhorrent feeling, is a task so daunting that, most times, you refuse even to make an attempt. Because why should you? Why should you continue to drain the life-force out of others, to continue burdening them with the heft of your existence, with the bothersome and tiring nature of your incessant fragility, of your perpetual internal divide? You are an incomprehensible blight to everyone. 

Except for _him_. 

He’s the only serenity your singed and tired soul will ever know. 

“Do you ever feel like…” You trail off for a moment, the task of speech exhausting in itself. Your eyes are fixed to the ceiling, silk sheets caressing your back. “Do you ever feel like everyone you know would be better off if they never met you?” 

You can see him next to you in your peripheral vision, an arm bent behind his head. You think you see his mouth twitch, dying remnants of a sardonic smile that never quite fully blossomed.

“I think you know the answer to that,” he hums. He turns his head, golden eyes assessing your form. You’re limp, almost. The way your limbs hang like lead, the way your neck allows your head to loll to the side. He doesn’t need to ask. Doesn’t need to question your vapid demeanour. He knows. 

He pulls you to his chest, the only act of service he can muster, that he can manage, as he wards off his own virulent demons that wrap around him like pernicious vines. You understand, though, you do. You comprehend the parts of him he never dared to expose, you offer him such a deep rooted love that surely, he doesn’t deserve. 

He watches how you meld to him, appendages entangling fiercely with his, as you cling to the only real, the only _solid_ thing you know is true. 

You are his peace, his golden sliver of tranquility, and he is your balance, your composure.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](www.kkysolo.tumblr.com)


End file.
